Poems My Grandmother Taught Me

A Lesson

Mother says that I should take
Some lessons from our cat.
That’s a funny thing to say!
What does she mean by that?
“Watch her,” Mother says to me,
“After she’s eaten, what does she do?
Scrubs her face and paws all clean.
And so, Young Man, should you!”

~Dana B. Nelson

Four Stages Of Parenting

Stage One, First Kid: The pacifier hits the floor. You boil it before giving it back to the kid.

Stage Two, Second Kid: The pacifier hits the floor. You run it under hot water before giving it back to the kid.

Stage Three, Third Kid: The pacifier hits the floor. You suck it off before giving it back to the kid.

Stage Four, Fourth Kid: The pacifier hits the floor. You tell the kid to stop crying and pick it up.

The Little Things: On Bad Words

I was thinking about the time that my daughter posted told us that our granddaughter had increased her vocabulary to include the phrase she’d heard, “Oh, sh*t.”

It reminded me of when middle daughter told me that her older sister had said a really bad word. Holding my breath, I asked what the word was.

With as much drama as she could muster and eyes wide, she told me her sister had said “Shut up!”

And then I breathed and chuckled.

Poems My Grandmother Taught Me

Yes, Mom

(He comes in the kitchen door
With mud from head to toes,
And then excuses start,
And on and on it goes!)

I know I am a mess,
And you’ll be mad, I guess.
But that puddle was big as a lake,
And I made one big mistake,
I could have walked around,
But I jumped and hit the ground.
So as long as I landed in it,
I just stayed and played a minute.
Well, maybe an hour or more …..
Yes, Mom, I’ll close the door …
Yes, Mom, I’ll wipe the floor …
Yes, Mom,
Yes, Mom,
Yes, Mom.

~Dana B. Nelson